Leaving

by Grayscale

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credits

released 24 July 2013
Artwork by: Daniel Fishel
Mastered by: Working Man's Productions

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Track Name: Christopher Hitchens
I hope it was worth it. You know you deserve this.
Track Name: Growing Pains
It takes everything for me to be okay here in Pennsylvania. Where it's cloudy every fucking day and there's nothing here but La Pena Mexicana. Yo guys do you wanna use mini bikes til we're kicked out of Walmart? Or a dozen eggs on John's shitty Honda? I can't do this on my own. It's something you can't understand cause lately I've been giving up on everything in my hands. We both know how strong you stand, but if you drop your guard for just a second, we'll find a common ground to work this out, let go of everything and move on. And this is the first time in a while that I've ever felt so alone. Stories of friends who let me down again, make me wanna get up and go home. And I wouldn't call it anything other than me being anxious as far as I can see so drop your guard for me. Let go of everything and move on. Let go of everything.
Track Name: Frail
Sleep through the storm. I'll have trouble sleeping through this one, for as long as I can remember you were a lost cause. It's the perfect rainy morning to put Scrubs reruns on with R.E.M in the background, and think of how you let your family down. Dead, you're a stranger to me now and I can't stop pretending that you'll ever come down. It's like that one Better Than Ezra song that Dad used to sing to when we were young, but now I know that nobody's really that strong. My family tree is wrapped in shredded car parts. That's why I hate family parties and the smell of any hospital that isn't sacred heart. Don't ever scare me like that again, you left goose bumps on my arms, and chills in the back of my head. That nobody's really that strong.
Track Name: Dying Breed
You said you wanna sit down and talk. I remember it on a bleak December Kennett walk, where I said lately I haven’t been myself at all. Like Jesse said, I’m a dying breed. It’s past the point of trying for me. And did you notice when I was crying of the front step of your parent’s porch? And now I know you’re the reason I wish heart attacks and car crashes on people. And for the second time tonight, I’m fully prepared to lose a piece of myself with Miller. It’s like we’re the only kids with self respect. No matter what John or his shit eating dad says. They’re racist. Spoken by reply so aptly broken, where for years I had to choke in all my hatred for you now you got what you deserved. On my own, and I can hear you breathing, begging me for a second chance at clarity so. Now you know where you went wrong, and why you’ve grown dead to me, and it’ll stay that way for long.
Track Name: Sunday
Turn off the lights and tell me everything that's on your mind, or how we both know you've been off since last July. Your eyes are swollen from feeling so alone, sit tight I swear that I'm not going home. Two days now broken down in your bedroom. I'll hold you tight while you cry hard into my arms. It's funny how everyone says we're too young except my best friends, they're the only ones that are on my side. Don't tell me it won't be the same. I guess I'll hope for the best and tell myself I'll be okay. I hope it was worth it for you. Don't even tell her that you're sorry. Cause Sunday breakfast from here on out can't fix seven years of lying. So here's a thank you, from me for the lesson of growing older. And how I actually, was twice the man than you at seventeen. Don’t tell me it won’t be the same. I guess I'll hope for the best and tell myself I'll make it and be okay. You know you mean so much to me.
Track Name: 618 Carpenter Street
Here's the song you always wanted, but it's about how shallow your heart is. And how you let me down for the last time. Coming from a writer who's seen this tragedy take place before. Now look what you've got left, it shows how fucked up you are in the head. Come on come on, is this really how you carry yourself? Wearing faces of somebody else. You know you brought this on yourself. I've never been better without you. I guess it's just part of growing up, and realizing I didn't need this. I'm sick of your double entendres and empty threats that you made to the world. Cause you spent all your reasoning and innocence. I promise it's something that I'll never miss. And I'm sorry, but that's how shit works out sometimes. And if you think further diction helps, then I'll be back in my room all by myself. Back in my room all by myself. The back door will stay locked and I won't come out so don't, don't fucking tell me to calm down. And for closure, I'm not fucking sorry for anything that happened.
Track Name: Leaving
I know you don’t do well when I’m leaving. But I just can’t fit in with this place anymore; it’s just not where I’m meant to be. Constantly without my footing, and a weight on my friends so I’ll be happy. I don’t do well on my own. Sometimes I think only Nick knows, that I’ll always be lame inside from the friends that I let go. I know it’s hard for you to take, but I’m ready to start a new life away from my mistakes. I’m leaving, California bound and I’m not coming home for anything, until I find some better footing. I’m so fed up by now, but I’ll be done with the things that pulled my down before like high school, and the kids who think their stories of driving home drunk are cool. But all that’s behind me, I found my release and packed my things. So I’ll be out the door, without feeling any kind of remorse for this. Just try and be an optimist, or at least that’s what Ari says. Just try to keep your head up, or you’ll pull yourself to pieces. You let your family go, you’ve given up.
Track Name: Sunday (Acoustic)
Turn off the lights and tell me everything that's on your mind, or how we both know you've been off since last July. Your eyes are swollen from feeling so alone, sit tight I swear that I'm not going home. Two days now broken down in the same room. I'll hold you tight while you cry hard into my arms. It's funny how John’s dad says we’re all just wasting our time, and to make things worse, John can’t follow his own lies. Don't tell me it won't be the same. I guess I'll hope for the best and tell myself I'll make it and be okay. You know you mean so much to me. And here’s to another night in my basement, where Dallas and I will talk about how we hate our generation. So here’s a thank you from me for the lesson of growing older, and how I actually am afraid of being 19. I hope it was worth it.
Track Name: Colors (Bonus Track)
If you really wanna see me cut myself wide open as a constant reminder of where I came from. As I pass your house on Longwood road I’ll think about all the times I would’ve driven you home when you were too fucked up. Now you’re just a site that I can visit when I’m home. Visit when I’m home. I know it’s wrong that I hated you for it, but try and understand I was young and innocent. Now you know how fucked up I really am, maybe it would be different if I had a second chance, or if I could still grab your reaching hand. I know a better road, and if I had to do this all again, I’d take the same way home. Cause your colors are always changing, it’s obvious you never cared at all. And all I have are these bitter goddamn songs. It’s your fault for letting this go, it’s your words that I live by, and you’re why I spend my holidays alone. Your colors are always changing. You’re always changing. It’s your words that I live by, I think it’s safe to say that I’ll grow up alone.